Wednesday, July 22, 2020

TIL that a friend I never met in person, but have been talking to for years though facebook and email died of cancer a couple months ago, and since facebook has been all hate and poison for months due to presidential politics, and racism, I quit looking through facebook and keeping up with every post everyone made

I want to bike across country with some people, you know, someday.... and he was one. 

I don't remember him telling me he had cancer, and the last time I sent him stuff was Christmas cards.

So let me tell you it sucks to get Facebook notification that it's someone's birthday and heading over to send them the Super Birthday Pack

Then learning they're dead. It's pretty fucked up.

 I guess all I can think to say to all of you, is for god's sake stay the hell in touch. Mario isn't the first friend I've lost to cancer, but shit, this doesn't get easier the more people it happens to.

 I know the longer we live the more friends we lose, some close the door in your face, happened to me 4 hours ago, some suicide, 3 years ago, and some get cancer.

If you've got advice on how to deal with friends clocking out, in whatever manner, hit me with it.

If you've got advice on how to go one better than dealing with it, and maybe somehow turning a shit sandwich into sloppy joes with sharp cheddar, well, that would be mighty fine. 

2020 you really really suck


  1. Jesse so sorry to hear you lost a good friend. I think the best we can all hope for is he had a good life and that he will be happy in the the after life. Who knows, maybe he's riding his cosmic Harley, or maybe his hot rod along with the rest of those friends that have gone before us. Much like I wish for my two dear biking friends who died too young. One from cancer. One from poor judgement sadly. Still they are missed just like your friend. But I take comfort that I have those friends in my memories, as I'm sure you do too.

  2. Sorry to hear about that. It seems FB has become the default for letting people know about things and those who aren't on or aren't on often miss out. A friend of my wife and I died a few weeks back. We called a bunch of people so they wouldn't find out on social media and the husband was in no place to be making all those calls.

  3. Theres not much anyone can say that will help, at least nothing i can think of,
    I lost one of my best friends to a heart attack when he was 2d in 83 and recenty I graduated in 83 and someone in my class had researched all the names in the graduating class of 98, (rural Appalachian town, there was only one HS in the county, no traffic light in the county, sheriffs dept had ONE deputy)
    10 were dead, and 8 were currently in jail.

    1. 10 dead, 8 in jail. Whoa...
      My highschool is L'Anse Mich, on the map you'll see how far from everything it is... not an interstate for hundreds of miles in any direction.
      Our grad class was about 110, and our 30th reunion would have been last hummer if anyone cared to go back, and find a place to stay. Since facebook is an easy way to stay in touch now, we've been doing that.
      I think 3 or 4 are dead, Kirk died a month after graduation, and he is missed. He was one of the good ones. A drunk driver crossed the median and hit him head on.
      I think only Paul is hiding from the law, the arrest warrant is online, and it's for drunk driving If I recall correctly. I think only Norm is in jail.
      I made a facebook page for our class to see the yearbook, and the photos I took of our high school trip to Six Flags
      When I tried to get a connection via facebook, there were at least one dozen people I could not get in touch with, there is nothing online about them.
      I didn't go the extra mile of trying to contact anyone in the home town they might be related to, or take out a front page ad in the local paper to see if some relative of theirs would be able to put me in touch.
      Going that far would be some extra extra effort to contact people that haven't once been to a reunion, or stayed in touch with ANY classmate at all.
      I think a few want to never hear or see anyone from our class ever again. Or hell, they might be dead, there's no way to find out

    2. Jesse, I never went to any of my class reunions, next year will mark the 50th anniversary of our graduation. Don't think I'll be making that one either the way things are going these days. But then, those kids back then in my high school didn't have much use for me as I wasn't one of the "popular' kids. Honestly, I didn't mind then, and don't mind now.