Friday, September 30, 2016

so, this happened.....:


I have just purchased a new Jaguar and wondered if I can fit the Jaguar hood ornament and if so where. I found your site as being the best informed but cannot find anywhere that says whether it is legal or not to fit one in the UK. I have the Leaping Jaguar ornament ready to fit I just need to know if it is legal.

Your advice would be welcome.



My reply:

You're talking to a Californian... we do whatever we want to, (we blue dot tail lights, we remove fenders, and take off hoods, install new rims and fat tires, and install hydraulics to make lowriders, etc) and cops are to busy with drug dealers and illegal aliens to give any attention to "equipment" issues on out vehicles.

If you need to worry about a hood ornament on your Jag, then ask the vehicle inspection station people, or your Jaguar dealership.

Or, ask your wife if you can have your balls back for a moment, to make a decision on whether or not you want to put a statue on the nose of your car to restore the phallic symbol that Jaguar left off in recent years when too many women complained.

And that, is a car guy's advice on hood ornaments.

Maybe you were looking to see what a soccer mom would say about it. I don't know, but when they show up to work after dropping their kids off at school I can ask them.

(In 2005, the European Union forced carmakers to meet minimum standards for pedestrian safety, based on damage caused in frontal collisions. The removal of upright hood ornaments helped meet the requirements and rather than make different hoods for different countries, many international automakers—including Jaguar—removed the hood ornaments altogether.)


  1. What a nasty responce. The chap was asking a simple valid question and you give him a snarky and misogynistic attempt at sarcasm. So you love to post about people love your blog, but when someone asks you a question that does not gain your full interest you lash out with cheap and nasty comments.

    Go to hell you vile, self promoting, women hating, pathetic man child....

    1. It wasn't a valid question, it was about as stupid as you are. So what if he bought a new Jag? That's between him and his insurance agent. As for putting a hood ornament on it, why the hell do you think he is asking a total stranger in a much different country about it? Because he's stupid. Why did England stop allowing the hood ornaments to be installed on cars? Because of jackasses like you. The concept of a 2 ton machine driven by people of no particularly verifiable intellect as a good idea isn't enough to scare the population at large, nor does the incredible speeds and poor braking abilities of these cars, regardless of the driving skills of the person behind the wheel.... but simpletons like you caused such an idiotic uproar over hood ornaments that they were banned. "Pedestrian safety" was the reason stated for banning the silly thing to begin with, and they had become nothing more than "I've got a bigger dick than you do" penis symbol on the nose of the most expensive and elite cars (Jag and Rolls Royce and Bentley being the last vehicles to have them). As for all the sexist remarks... I don't give a shit about your opinion, I am just a car guy, not some "can't everyone just get along and let Timmy have a participation award, soccer mom, van driving, eunuch who has to ask his wifes permission to hang out with the guys and drink beer" See, you are presuming I'm the nobel peace prize winning dr of womens studies who has bridged the gap in male female relations, and cured cancer in my spare time. I'm not. Listen up dumbass... I'm a car guy. I wrench, that is what I do. I tear apart cars and engines, put them together with new pieces and parts to make them more powerful so my car goes faster. I don't hold hands with girlfriends and ask how their relationship is. I don't volunteer at the home for unwed mothers, nor the orphan home. I wrench on old cars. I like the smell of carb cleaner and 90 weight oil. I can pack a bearing without a tool. I can use a timing light. I... am a drag racer. Not a member of the quilting bee who drinks Earl Grey. If you had the notion I'm anything but a car guy... you, not I, were the imbecile drooling onto a bib who couldn't collect their thoughts and recognize the obvious. I am the "cheap and nasty comment" maker. His question was stupid, and he asked the wrong person on the wrong continent in the wrong country. That was his mistake, or, he was just sending me a fat one to smack out of the park for fun. People do love this blog, but it's not here for stupid questions. Just sit back and enjoy the fucking ride and don't ask questions and bother the driver. Sit down and stay behind the yellow line and this ride will continue smooth and delightful along it's intended path. Talking to the driver isn't likely to result in anything you want to hear... he isn't here for stupid conversations, he isn't Erma Bombeck, Emily Post, nor Ann Landers.

    2. Oh, and you're opinion about me hating women is clearly your lack of knowing me, and my extreme admiration for women. They smell great and look terrific and have soft parts in all the right places. If you ever see one fixing a Harley, driving a muscle car with a stick shift and smoking the tires at stop lights, you'll know she is a rare thing indeed, a unicorn.