1. Pants won't pull up far enough for them to straddle the seat.
2. Can't get their phone to their ear with a helmet on.
3. Can't use 2 hands to eat while driving.
4. They don't get a participation trophy just for buying one.
5. Don't have enough muscle to hold the bike up when stopped.
6. Might have a bug hit them in the face and then they would need emergency care.
7. Motorcycles don't have air conditioning.
8. They can't afford one because they spent 12 years in college trying to get a degree in Humanities, Social Studies or Gender Studies for which no jobs are available.
9. They are allergic to fresh air.
10. Their pajamas get caught on the exhaust pipes.
11. They might get their hands dirty checking the oil.
12. The handle bars have buttons and levers and cannot be controlled by touch-screen.
13. You have to shift manually and use something called a clutch.
14. It's too hard to take selfies while riding.
15. They don't come with training wheels like their bicycles did.
16. Motorcycles don't have power steering or power brakes.
17. Their nose ring interferes with the face shield.
18. They would have to use leg muscle to back up.
19. When they stop, a light breeze might blow exhaust in their face.
20. It could rain on them and expose them to non-soft water.
21. It might scare their therapy dog, and then the dog would need therapy.
22. Can't get the motorcycle down the basement stairs of their parent's home.
Thanks Mike!
23. Motorcycles are symbols of toxic masculinity.
24. "Where's the cupholder???"
Thanks Allen!
25. There's no phone charger.
26. They need to be responsible for themselves while riding
Thanks Auto Clandestino!
2. Can't get their phone to their ear with a helmet on.
3. Can't use 2 hands to eat while driving.
4. They don't get a participation trophy just for buying one.
5. Don't have enough muscle to hold the bike up when stopped.
6. Might have a bug hit them in the face and then they would need emergency care.
7. Motorcycles don't have air conditioning.
8. They can't afford one because they spent 12 years in college trying to get a degree in Humanities, Social Studies or Gender Studies for which no jobs are available.
9. They are allergic to fresh air.
10. Their pajamas get caught on the exhaust pipes.
11. They might get their hands dirty checking the oil.
12. The handle bars have buttons and levers and cannot be controlled by touch-screen.
13. You have to shift manually and use something called a clutch.
14. It's too hard to take selfies while riding.
15. They don't come with training wheels like their bicycles did.
16. Motorcycles don't have power steering or power brakes.
17. Their nose ring interferes with the face shield.
18. They would have to use leg muscle to back up.
19. When they stop, a light breeze might blow exhaust in their face.
20. It could rain on them and expose them to non-soft water.
21. It might scare their therapy dog, and then the dog would need therapy.
22. Can't get the motorcycle down the basement stairs of their parent's home.
Thanks Mike!
23. Motorcycles are symbols of toxic masculinity.
24. "Where's the cupholder???"
Thanks Allen!
25. There's no phone charger.
26. They need to be responsible for themselves while riding
Thanks Auto Clandestino!
This is absolutely awesome. Every word rings truth. I must forward this to those few riding buddies I have, as the motorcycle days come to a close, and the end of an incredible era vanishes. Or so it would seem. I hope I'm wrong.
ReplyDeletethe fad of yuppies getting overpriced harleys that sit in garages is over. Expect that the market will be flooded with divorce bikes, estate sale bikes, and tired of storing it bikes for the next 20 years.
Delete23. Motorcycles are symbols of toxic masculinity.
ReplyDelete24. "Where's the cupholder???"
HA! Thanks! Adding these!
Delete25. There's no phone charger.
ReplyDelete26. They need to be responsible for themselves while riding.
We are getting old my friend 😄😄😄
Allen, GOOD ONE!
ReplyDelete