Friday, February 26, 2016

just how despised are Lucas electronics?

Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil? The factory took it back and worked on it until it did.

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night? They all look the same.
" - "He replied, "It does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"

The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices
Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.
"I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.

Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.

Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?
A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators

Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.."

1 comment:

  1. Lucas is known in the car trade as "The Prince of darkness"