Monday, December 06, 2010

funniest thing I read all day, the writing of Scott Longman in Mopar Action, Feb 2011 issue, '68 Power Wagon feature

"Displacement! No, MORE displacement! No, more than THAT! Offset journals and crank throws and who gives a good rat's thyroid if the piston skirts are in contact with the holes at the bottom end!

496 CID? No! More! 500? Keep at it! A Callies crank? 540? Yes!

540 flag waving, magnificent, glory laden American cubic inches! But flow? Heads! From Indy! Fire hoses have less flow! Fuel injection? Not a chance! No drama! No history!

Carbs! Leviathan carbs! 900! No! 1,000! What, are you lame? 1,100! Yes! 2200 CFM worth of carbs at full throttle that look like the Deep Throat Tunnel project during a class 5 rainstorm!

And what do you mean, atmospheric pressure? If I want atmospheric pressure, I'll inhale! Belts! Blowers! Boost! No, MORE boost! No, more than THAT! A Procharger F1R!

Dammit Boost is America! Why the hell did we go through the revolutionary war and adopt Adam Smith and put up the flag on Mt Suribachi and survive Jimmy Carter if we aren't going to have boost? How's 20 pounds? 20? Not a chance! make it a nice round number like 29! What? The motor will blow up? Intercoolers! No, bigger than that!

Set to chill Chernobyl! Heat exchangers that hang icicles in Hades! We're going for a column of air that would flash freeze green beans, denser that Elena Kagan, but half the weight and triple the throughput!"

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