but then, neither my dad nor my step dad give a shit about the fact that I have this blog, nor take any satisfaction from my existence or accomplishments.
In fact, neither will read this, nor hear of it, from anyone I know or am related to.
Simply, Father's Day... something for other guys to enjoy. My fathers don't.
If your dad is around, and wasn't a drunk, didn't take off many states away to avoid paying child support in the old days before the internet and laws the revoke drivers licenses for deadbeat dads, then - show up unexpectedly and share a couple cold beers with him.
If your ol dad was more than Baskerville's nickname, and taught you all the games, the skills, the ways of the world and how to date girls, (and because there are 2 women that read this blog, if your dad told you how to get the good guy from all the assholes among the boys out there, and chose the right kind of guy to be a great husband, and father to your kids) shake his hand and thank him for putting you ahead of the pack on the path to success.
If your dad gave you the love for good books, good baseball bats, the right deodorant, told you to not use cologne, showed you to shave with the grain unless you're going on a date - then against the grain for the smoothest skin your girl can enjoy kissing without whisker burn, and helped you figure out the damned wiring mess the last owner of your neat old 60s car.
If your dad shared a love for good music, gave you the family record player and albums, made sure you appreciated the variety from Johnny Cash to CCR, Little River Band to Loverboy, Hendrix to Judas Priest, Chuck Berry to Beastie Boys, ZZ Top to AC DC, Guns and Roses, Zeppelin, and the Scorps, plus appreciated good old country like Dolly Parton, Willie Nelson, BoxCar Willie, Hank Williams Sr (fuck jr's bullshit) Marty Robbins, and pointed out that Elvis was gospel AND rock, and surf movie goofy.
If your dad showed you how amazing movies can be, and got you hooked on Peter Jackson, Spielberg, Lucas, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Princess Bride, Iron Man, Grumpy Old Men, Thin Man, Hitchcock, John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart, Audrey Hepburn, Katherine Hepburn, Arsenic and Old Lace, Saving Private Ryan, Tom Hanks, Spencer Tracy, Disney, Pixar, Glenn Ford, and Dean Martin
If your dad made sure you knew how good a Louis Lamour or Zane Grey western is, and a Tarzan adventure... plus, slipped you some change for comic books so you could get into the Avengers, Batman, and all the crazy other stuff out there in graphic novels...
If your dad let you ride in the back of the pick up, took you to the lake on hot days for a swim - then followed that up with a root beer float and Tombstone pizza, or went for the picnic thing but without the mushy sandwiches..
If your dad gave you Boy Scout upbringing, and a jack knife, taught you how to sharpen it so well you can shave the hair off your arm (without cutting into your veins!), and showed you how to tell an oak from a maple, what the birds, fish, and critters names were by sight, how to jump rope, play checkers, and cribbage....
Extra points if your dad bought you the Farrah poster, a BMX bike, skateboard, guitar and showed you some chords, good winter jackets, made you a theme bedroom, took you to a good sledding hill with a long plastic sled, or better yet, helped get you into a job mowing lawns or something that would earn you some bucks, so you could go in half on a snowmobile an outboard, and showed you where to go fishing.
If your dad started you out with a good used set of Craftsman tools... but by taking you to a swap meet for the good stuff, and made sure you understood to avoid the chinesium... not just handing you a credit card and dropping you off at NAPA
If your dad put you through college, bought you a car when you were in high school, taught you to use a tractor and earn a living, keep the family farm going, or passed onto you the family business - providing for you and his descendants the means of earning a living, and never wondering where your next paycheck will come from, never knowing what hunger is, never being unable to pay the bills...
then you are fortunate indeed, and owe a lot to your old man
If you're that guy I'm describing that was that cool dad, that paid for the wedding, the university education, had the talk with your new son in law back when he was a nervous first date and you met him at the door cleaning your shotgun and making sure he understood you'd bury his ass where no one would ever find it if he hurt your girl, showed your kids how play cards, win at rock paper scissors, sink a free throw, do a lay up, and dribble a basketball in the driveway using the garage as a backstop for the hoop - then damn it, you did good.
If you got your kids cell phones, I pads, and kept them from the ugly side of the internet, but still showed your kids the fun aspect of old black and white tv like the Munsters, the Honeymooners (hello ball!), and Roy Rogers... if you got your kids to laugh at the 3 Stooges, Abbot and Costello, and Laurel and Hardy...
Happy fathers day. I hope you watched a John Wayne movie, ate some BBQ from the grill, took a ride in your muscle car, and smoked the fucking tires for fun.
Would anyone like to add to this list of what a Dad ought to do for their son or daughter, OR add what you've made a goal or list of accomplishments in your kids development?
That is a cool old picture and a lot of good suggestions.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear you didn't have a good relationship with your dad or step dad. Mine was a typical 70s father, but he was older by the time I was born as the last of 8 kids. He did some things well, and others he could have done better. I've tried to be a better father for my sons, and hope they improve on my example.
I'm trying to pass on my interest in cars and planes, interesting music (I agree on Hank Sr.) and movies like Princess Bride, Airplane, and Mel Brooks movies. I've kept them out of trouble for 20 and 17 years so far, so I think I'm doing OK.
You're doing fine... and you get to repeat with grandkids!
DeleteA lot of good suggestions, thanks! I was shocked to see how much it would cost to have kids based on the things I believe are parents duties (music, sports, adventures, motorbike) and realize that I'm thinking like someone looking at a tv show of the 1960s parents, when all that was affordable.
Inflation... 10 fold increase in prices of every damn thing. Snowmobile, sports gear, guitar, etc... there is no Sears to grab these things, and the high quality companies that made stuff and sold it through sears are gone. Tool boxes were tough as hell, not anymore, and now they're made in china.
I just bought a Kennedy machinists tool chest filled with decent tools, 100 bucks at an estate sale. It's been a machinists work box for at least 20 years.
Any time you want to write about dad stuff, and how it was to raise a couple boys, lay it on me.
Music, well, I grew up with a pop music mom, with old country music grandparents, who listened to easy contemporary 70s music, then she quit listening to music. Then I was into MoTown, MTV, and all moms 45s, which, took me 25 years to get from her.
After the 90s, I just started listening to nearly everything but hippity hop ghetto garbage.
There is good rap, just not much of it.
Hell, I sang WITH Biz Markie, Just A Friend. Yeah, ok, I was with 7000 others all singing along at Comic Con and no, he has no clue I exist, but... C'mon, I sang with a real one hit wonder, live, in person. Well, in a crowd, but still, it's a matter of perspective.
I was born in 1964, grew up in rural Appalachia, my father was a police officer in a large city and during the riots of the 60s, took his wife and kids and fled to the mountains, accepting a job as a state park ranger, where we lived IN the park.
ReplyDeletefrom 66 to 71 we lived 5 miles from the nearest paved road. but the locals thought we were rich since we had electricity and running water and a gas furnace and a telephone, and they had none of those things. anytime someone got hurt and needed medical attention or to make an emergency phone call, they came to our house.
He always had an old car to tinker with, usually an oddball car , like a Nash Metropolitan or a Corvair or a 59 Ford Skyliner with the retractable steel top, and always an old model A ford, and a wooden boat of some kind.
he taught us how to fish and shoot.
and taught us how to drive, always taking us out when we were 9 or 10 and letting us drive in the snow etc.
taught us how to work on cars, and boats, and motorhomes, and campers.
he came up with some good ideas for us to make money , selling stuff to the tourists at the state park. we made good money in the summer selling dried corn to tourists, for them to feed the hundreds of ducks that lived at the parks lake. selling firewood to the campers,
Then we used that money to buy our motorcycles, got my first motorcycle when I was 11, a Honda Trail 90. got my first gun for my 12th birthday, dad took me to Sears and let me pick out whatever gun I wanted, I selected a 20 gauge double barrel , which I still have.
and to buy our cars, when he turned 15 my brother bought a 68 mustang for $500, two years later I bought a 66 Thunderbird for $500, and a 69 Mercury Cyclone for $275
he wasnt into music, far as I know he only bought one record ever, Billy Swan.
we later moved to a different park and the rangers residence was next to a state highway, the house was at an intersection of three roads and in two directions it was 15 or 20 miles to the next house, so any emergency, car crash, forest fire, medical emergency etc, anyone driving by who hadnt seen lights or a house in 20 miles or crooked mountain roads, saw our house with a game wardens pickup with the state seal on the door and blue lights on the roof, parked out front, came to us for help.
was 28 miles to the nearest traffic light.
this county didnt have and still doesnt have a full time paid fire department or EMS, its a volunteer fire department, so the response time was long.
long enough that you didnt wait on them, if someone was really hurt, you just drove them to the hospital.
he was and is a great dad, he's 88, and still lives by himself, not in a nursing home yet.
I grew up never knowing that some people had bad parents, where we lived, it just was rare enough I guess that I never knew anyone who had neglectful parents. but this was before drugs, although making moonshine was the main source of income for alot of the folks.
my wifes parents made their kids learn how to jump start a car, change a tire and drive a manual transmission, made them learn how to plow and plant the garden and how to hunt and fish etc
and they made their kids take their driving test in a Jeep J-20 4wd pickup.
ive tried to make sure my kids learned how to drive a manual, how to do plumbing and electrical and carpentry , how to weld etc, how to do a budget , and most importantly , how to think and use logic to solve problems.
that is terrific, thank you! I remember you sharing most of this in the past about other posts, but it really does belong here, and you've added some info I don't recall. Your wife's parents had great ideas too!
DeletePLumbing, electrical, and carpentry... with those, building a house becomes a LOT easier! I imagine, getting a job building houses does too!
How to think, and use logic... dang it, I didn't think about that! REALLY important!