30-year-old Keith Young, a local history teacher, was involved in a domestic dispute in the Quail Ridge subdivision just before 6 p.m. in south Macon. According to the Bibb County Sheriff’s Office, Young tied up his wife and left with three children. His wife later escaped and called police. She told deputies that the couple was going through a divorce.
Young returned to the subdivision later Tuesday night while deputies were on the scene and plowed into four vehicles.
https://www.macon.com/news/local/crime/article242858986.html
If you know that you only have a 30% chance of a happy marriage that lasts and doesn't result in a divorce you can't afford - why get married. Live together until you can't be happy with each other, then move on.
I'm pretty sure I only know a few couples that have been married happily, and didn't result in divorce. All the rest of the people I know? Divorced. In my life I'll guess that it's been about 80% divorce
Jesse, sorry to hear you've had a bad experience with marriage, but your stats are distorting the truth. I used to believe the numbers the media was always touting as well.
ReplyDeleteYour numbers may be true if you add all marriages together, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc. But that distorts that facts. People that get divorced once tend to get divorced again; and sometimes again.
The real divorce rate for first time marriages is only around 20%, always pretty much has been. So 80% of people get married and stay married the first time. The other 20% keep getting married and divorced over and over. So when you add in all these multiple marriages from the 20%, the statistics make it look like most marriages end in divorce. In reality it's a small minority of people skewing the numbers.
See the article below for reference:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-myth-of-the-high-rate-of-divorce/
You seem to have a distorted view of what I read, since you claim I've had a bad experience with divorce.
DeleteI haven't been married or divorced.
So, you got that goofed up.
And my stats do not distort a truth, they simply are a truth. They are true in my life and experience. If they don't equivalate your life experiences then you simply have had better view to look at when it comes to marriages and divorces.
Ever heard of the 3 blind men and the elephant? Each of them were hands on an elephant, but they were spaced out, and one felt the trunk and tusks, the other was in the middle and felt a curved wall of wrinkled skin, and the other guy was getting hit in the face with the tail.
Each of them had a vastly different truth and experience with the same elephant, and none of them knew anything past the facts they were in touch with.
So, pardon my stats and facts don't agree with your view, but how about not telling me that my stats distort something. They do not. My parents, aunts and uncles, sister and cousins, friends, neighbors, and girlfriends. I count them all up and simply relay the stats.
AS for national data, your source differs from the census data: https://www.census.gov/library/visualizations/interactive/marriage-divorce-rates-by-state.html
in which the marriage rate is 16.6 and the divorce rate is 7.7.
That, sir, is 46.4 %
Now then, I do believe you will see that 46.4 is what gets rounded up to 50% on occasion.
So, I think you will find that I was on the bubble when I stated that 50% of marriages end in divorce. I didn't even think of the people that get married and divorced repeatedly.
so, no, I won't be taking time to see what pscyh central has to say, or why they believe they know what they are talking about, instead, I'll go with an unbiased govt census report that isn't getting money from unknown sources to do a report that isn't accurate by the govt data.
And remember, you didn't read what I said carefully.
No worries, although I didn't say you had a bad experience with divorce. I said sorry you had a bad experience with marriage. Although I wasn't implying that it was your personal marriage, since you have never mentioned being married or single in all the time I have been reading your blog. But it seems obvious that something negative triggered you to have these anti-marriage views. But no problem, marriage is not for everyone. I don't have an issue with that. But, people get discouraged when they see these stats and I think they should be informed that it's not as bad as it's being reported. I think we both know that stats can be manipulated to show whatever we want them to show.
ReplyDeleteAlso, while you used the stats, I realize these are not from your personal research but from what is reported by different organizations. So, no surprise that they differ from what I have found. Like I said, I used to believe the governments numbers as well. But they seem to not tell the truth quite often, don't they?
So, you quote the census marriage rate of 16.8 and divorce rate of 7.7. Maybe so, but again, what are they measuring? First time marriages only? I think these numbers are probably all marriages. So I think the 20% divorce rate for first time marriages still stands.
The article I linked is just what I quickly found, but I first heard the 20% numbers about 15 years ago from a different person. I don't recall the lady's name, but she was a counselor/psychiatrist type and said she always believed the 50% stats as well and quoted them in her work and to her patients. But once she discovered the real numbers, she was totally dismayed that she had been passing on false information.
So, maybe look into it, maybe don't. That's up to you. I just know that it's not as bad as you think.